Mumbo's Maddening Mountain
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: After their battle with Conga, Banjo and Kazooie find another puzzling predicament to overcome


When he delivered the thunder from his fists, the end was nigh for certain. No one could withstand the righteous power of Conga's awesome might.

Banjo skid across the ground as he was knocked back by one of Conga's excellent orange pelts.

Kazooie landed beside him and coughed up grenades. They detonated and caused more major ouchies to the dynamic duo.

"Filthy mongrels!" laughed Conga with his arms raised high in victory. "You cannot best the great Conga!"

"Shut your yap, monkey butt," hissed Kazooie. She hopped back into the backpack.

Banjo posed ready for more action. "You have fought well, Conga, but you do not have the edge, not yet!" said Banjo with out-of-sync lip flaps.

Conga snickered and readied another harmful fruit.

Banjo lunged forward and set his fists ablaze with the fiery aura of his righteous goodness. "Die monster! You don't belong in this world!" he roared with gruff rage.

Kazooie stretched her neck out and consumed the orange. Banjo slammed Conga hard with his tubular energy. Conga's face imploded in on itself and got sent to the second dimension, where it met Phineas and Ferb.

"Let's kick this duel into overdrive…" said Banjo heroically as he displayed his mighty salsa. It was the most valuable essence to ever come out of Spiral Mountain.

Kazooie launched the Golden Eggs of InfinityTM and reduced Conga to smithereens. Banjo than dashed over and ate all of the smithereens.

"Good job, Bear and Bird!" called Mumbo from atop the mountain. He was wearing blue bell-bottom jeans and a tie-dye shirt. His afro made him look like a calm painter.

"We have liberated the mountain, Mumbo," said Banjo with a smile.

"Yeah, and now you owe us a Jiggy," Kazooie said with a sassy eyebrow wiggle.

"No," said Mumbo. He then screamed and his massive biceps grew even more massive. His gruesomely enormous pectorals tore through the fabric and his eye turned into pillars of red energy. "YOU MUST DIE!"

"Holy snickerdoodle!" cried Banjo as he dropped it. "Mumbo is our fated opponent of the ages!"

"I knew we couldn't trust that tutu-wearing dumbo…" Kazooie rasped with the power of Sylvester Stallone imbued in her vocal chords.

Banjo nodded and took off his yellow shorts, revealing his orange martial arts gi. He charged up his Holiest Lazer (which is spelt with a "z" because I said so) and fired away.

Mumbo was hit with Banjo's best shot because he was a real tough cookie with a long history. But Mumbo absorbed the attack like a sponge would to a very successful Nicktoon.

"Blimey!" groaned Kazooie as she reloaded her rifle named Kevin. "We must restrict our kinder attacks and go all out, Banjo."

Banjo wept. "I cannot destroy Mumbo! He's our friend!"

"Buttz, man…" Kazooie grunted as she took a slurp of her Diet Pepsi. "Friends are for the weak. We live for the thrill of the fight!" She continued pouring immense pain and suffering from Kevin's maw.

Mumbo shook off the heated lead and bashed Kazooie with his mighty fist. Kazooie was defeated, as was Kevin.

"No!" cried Banjo. He rushed over to Kazooie and held her tightly in her last moments.

"Banjo… you must believe…" coughed Kazooie. She placed a weak wing on Banjo's incredibly formidable chest. "You must believe… in your heart…"

And then Kazooie breathed her last.

Banjo was furious. He filled his suit with the essence of raging agony. It smelt funny. He wiggled his nose like an angry tiger that just found its babies getting eaten by sloth bears. "I want you to be destroyed!" roared Banjo as he ran forward and brought immense beefy smash goodness into Mumbo's left index toe.

Mumbo wailed in pain at the thought of ouching toe malfunctions.

"You have offended my glory!" cried Banjo. He charged up the Guhuhmuhuh-Huh with the power of his father and Kazooie's spiritual beak. Banjo did it with one hand only, because he is so terribly good at his whole life.

Mumbo got hit by Banjo's Guhuhmuhuh-Huh and went down on the ground with death in his future. Banjo had quelled his chaos. Banjo cemented the deal by reaching into Mumbo's jean pockets and extracting the Jiggy in his wallet.

"Yea, verily…" said Banjo with keen satisfaction. He glanced tearfully over at his fallen Breegull buddie and then sent his soul to the heavens. There he met the Scabby the Beetle King.

"What is up, nimrod?" asked Scabby rudely as he drove his red corvette around the planet like movie star.

"Bring Kazooie back to life or else I will rip your tongue out," growled Banjo with coursing blood in his veins like a normal living creature would require in order to exist.

"No," said Scabby. Then Banjo ripped his tongue out, played jump rope with it, and then made a Spotify playlist about it.

**THE SACRED END**


End file.
